There are many ways to communicate with your loved ones. You can do so through a medium as I did. You can even learn how to channel him or her yourself. Everyone has the potential to do so, and I have learned to do this myself. One simple way is to ask your loved one yes and no questions through the Hand Game. Designate one hand as your “yes” and the other as your “no.” Then, with your hands spread apart, palms facing upwards, ask your question and wait. After a while, you’ll pick up a different sensation in one palm. It might be a change in temperature, numbness, tingling, itching, pressure, a blowing sensation, etc. If your loved one has trouble making that sensation obvious, say, “Make it stronger” and repeat this until you’re satisfied that you have an answer.
You can also have conversations with your loved one in your head or aloud. Sometimes they’ll talk to you in what seems like your own voice, but it’s easy to distinguish from your thoughts because they don’t appear to belong to you. They seem to come out of nowhere. When I speak to Erik, I often hear him just behind my right ear. Sometimes he’ll give me strong goose bumps to confirm that he is indeed talking to me. You can also add a tangible component to your conversations if you want. For example, I’ll place two mugs of coffee on the table, one for him and one for me. I’ll add napkins and spoons and put his photograph at his place setting so that I can see his image as I speak with him.
Many people communicate best with their loved ones in certain settings. For example, activities that are fairly automatic and calming like gardening or washing the dishes might make it easier to communicate with them. I channel Erik best in a warm bath or while I’m hiking in nature.
I talk to Erik nearly every day, and he continues to prank me from time to time, especially when I need the comic relief on days when I miss him most. Our relationship is different than the way it was when he was alive, though. It’s no longer about trying to “fix” him, and the roles are reversed. He has become my teacher instead of me being his.
Since Erik’s death, my entire family and I have grown spiritually. Not only do we understand that death is not the end, we know what to expect when our own time comes. As a result, we no longer fear death. We also understand who we are and why we’re here and have gained a great deal of practical advice to get the most from our human experience. For example, we now know that we should open our hearts and live with vulnerability.
Vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s a position of strength, and it allows us to live a life of love. We’ve also learned that to be vulnerable, we need to feel first and think second and that takes being mindful of our own intuition, our heart space. Ordinarily, we humans do the reverse. We think a thought, and then that evokes and emotion and that emotion creates a choice or reaction. Instead, we must listen to our heart and be aware of the emotions we’re feeling. Then that emotion will produce a thought and that thought will create a choice or reaction.
Once we’re able to accomplish that, we can achieve one of the most important things as humans—emotional honesty. By listening to our heart, we can be emotionally honest with ourselves and others and that paves the way to a life of love.